


Blue Eyes

by sempervera



Series: A light in the darkness that never goes out, a Malec songifc collection. [1]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, M/M, Memories, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 17:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sempervera/pseuds/sempervera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after ominous page 511 of City of Lost Souls, except for this, the title is pretty self explanatory: certain blue eyes do not seem to abandon Magnus' mind. Inspired by Cary Brothers' song "Blue Eyes".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Eyes

_…_

_Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie_  
 _Window broke, torn up screens_  
 _Who'd have thought that you'd dream_  
 _Of a single tragic scene_  
 _…_

 

Magnus was laying down on the couch of his flat, usually filled with light and brightly colored furniture the flat seemed to have lost its brightness. Dim lights weakly illuminated the room, the same dim lights that welcomed Magnus so many times to the image of a bent reading figure on the that same couch, those lights felt now cold and icy.

Magnus closed his eyes to stop remembering those times, the times he would silently come in to the apartment after a long and exhausting day, drained of his magic and tired for the effort. He would use some of the remaining magic he had to silently sneak in, just so he could see Alec strained on the couch reading one of his century old books.

A sigh escaped his mouth: no matter how many times he'd close his eyes, there was no way he could not think about it again and again. He could not stop himself from thinking about that night, when he had followed Alec, when he found out what he was doing and who he was dealing with. Magnus still remembered the panic running through his body, the same kind of panic he felt when he saw Alec falling in the East River: the paralyzing panic of losing someone you love.

He remembered the coldness of the water when he dove into the river, the memories of water filling is lungs when he was nine years old came back to haunt him but he blocked them and went after Alec, the panic of losing him greater than the fear of the demons from his own past. He saved him back then and he saved him once again that night in alley, by sending him away.

_…_  
 _I just want to take it off of you_  
 _…_

 He lied, he bluntly lied to Alec's face. He wasn't angry because he tried to shorten his life, Magnus could _understand_ that, the desire to do anything to stay with your loved one, not to have it taken away from you. No denying that it _did_ hurt to think that Alec though of doing that, but Magnus knew Alec well enough to know that the shadowhunter would have never done that, not really.

No, what terrified the warlock to his core was to see to what length Alec had gone, to who he got himself involved with just for the love he had for Magnus. _That_ was what scared Magnus, he could not accept Alec putting himself in that kind of danger for his own sake, no matter what.

_…_

_Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _You are all that I need_  
 _Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _You're the sweet to my mean_  
 _…_

 He had to drive him away, not because Alec hurt him, but because _he didn't want Alec to be hurt_. He could not stand the thought of Alec getting hurt _for him_ , Alec was something sacred: Alec was everything. And he had just sent him away.

…  
 _I just wanna sing a song with you_  
I just wanna be the one that's true  
 _…_

One of the lightbulbs suddenly exploded, waking the Chairman from his sleep, immediately followed by Magnus throwing one after one other the books on the small table near the couch. They were Alec's, he still hadn't come to pick them up and Magnus could not stand to see them scattered around his place for another minute. They just kept reminding him of what he lost, of what he could not have anymore, _and that hurt_. He needed to make it stop, he needed to stop but he just couldn't. It wasn't a broken heart: Magnus was broken all over, everything hurt, as if they ripped half of his body and soul away from him. Alec was not his loved one, he was _the one._

_…_  
 _But you don't know_  
 _You don't know the greatness you are_  
 _…_

And Alec did not even know that, he could not even conceive of being that important for someone, let alone Magnus. The warlock always wished Alec could see himself through Magnus' eyes, so he would understand how wrong he was to consider himself a not-enough: Alec was _so much more_. Alec was a treasure, a treasure Magnus swore to protect, even from himself. So he picked up the books and piled them back on the table, snapped his fingers to repair the lightbulb and then switched them off. He let himself fell exhausted on the chaise-lounge, not wanting to put himself through the memories his bedroom would evoke, and waved his hand to the ceiling, making it transparent and revealing the dark sky above. That was the only thing Magnus allowed himself to do, he would not try to reach Alec, he would repress the memories and he would fight the pain, but he would not give up this: the color of the night sky, the color of Alec's blue eyes.

_…_

_Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _You are destiny's scene_  
 _Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _I just wanna be the one_  
  
 _I just wanna sing a song with you_  
 _I just wanna get it on with you_  
  
 _Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _You're the secret I keep_  
 _Cause Blue Eyes_  
 _I just wanna sing a song with you_  
 _I just wanna sing a song with you_  
 _I just wanna sing a song with you_


End file.
